the gaudians of the gelexy
by IAMASEXYMAN
Summary: quill does something wacky and then groot has an adventure


the gaudians of the gelexy

one day quill was all alone in his ship and he started jizzing uncontrollably bc that's hot. then he turned on a blacklight and his walls looked like a jackson pollock painting (which meant it was all white splashes EVERYWHERE) and it reeked of semen. "ah i am such a straight normal man" quill said in a tony stark tone. then he started jerking it more to an animal porno.

then guaridans of the galaxy happened and he had his team mates rocket racconius, gamwhora, sudowoodo, and drax. quill was in his rom jerking it again until before he came he stopped. he wanted to get some soda and he would put the manjuice in there and recycle it like chris chan does. so anyway he was wearing a shirt and jeans so he left the room and it was like he forgot to zip up his jeans so his dick was kind of hanging out. this happened to me earlier today bc i copletely forgot my pants were unzipped so then i freaked out and quickly zipped up while in the hallway and nobody saw me thnk god... anyway. quill walked out his his dick hung out and then rocket was like "ew quill you have problems" and then quill was like "LIKE YOU EVER WEAR PANTS U FURRY FREAK" and that hurt rocket's feelings so he jumped at quilL AND BIT OFF HIS PEENER. quill SCREAMED and then everyone started freaking out and oh my god there was blood everywhere. then quill was like "calm down guyslet's just have a party"" he said as he used space medicine to grow himself a new peenius. then quill flipped the blacklight switch and a disco came out. colorful cum stains lit up the room and it was beautiful... and then gamora was like "who's piloting the ship?" then they crashed and landed in the middle of the avengers 3 just at the very end of part 1 so they could add suspense and hype for the second part. but before it ended, the camera ZOOMED in on groot and he said. "I am groot." and then deadpool was there ebcause by the time this movie came out MARVEL/DISNEY OWNED DEADPOOL MOVIE RIGHTS INSTED OF FRIEAKING FOX and he was like "wat skippy" and then groot said "we are groot" and deadpool was like "no, we are NOT groot. youre a groot, you groot" and then groot was like "i AM groot (bitch)" and then deadpool was like "yeah go groot yourself you groot" and then groot was like "i AM groot (bitch)" and then deadpool was like "yeah go groot yourself you groot" and then groot was like "i AM groot (bitch)" and then deadpool was like "yeah go groot yourself you groot" and then groot was like "i AM groot (bitch)" and then deadpool was like "yeah go groot yourself you groot" and then groot was like "i AM groot (bitch)" and then deadpool was like "yeah go groot yourself you groot" and then groot was like "i AM groot (bitch)" and then deadpool was like "yeah go groot yourself you groot" and then groot was like "i AM groot (bitch)" and then deadpool was like "yeah go groot yourself you groot" and then groot was like "i AM groot (bitch)" and then deadpool was like "yeah go groot yourself you groot"

THEN GROOT AND DEADPOOL BATTLD AND IT WAS SO CLIMATIC THEY BOTH CAME AND GROOT'S SEMEN SAP COVERED THE ENTIRE MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE ND DEADPOOL'S NORMAL JIZZ FLEW EVERYWEHRE AND GAVE EVERYONE STDS BUT ALSO HEALING FACTORS

and then and then groot was like "i AM groot (bitch)" and then deadpool was like "yeah go groot yourself you groot" and then groot was like "i AM groot (bitch)" and then deadpool was like "yeah go groot yourself you groot" and then groot was like "i AM groot (bitch)" and then deadpool was like "yeah go groot yourself you groot" and then groot was like "i AM groot (bitch)" and then deadpool was like "yeah go groot yourself you groot"

then groot said "i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot? i am groot! i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot!"

then deadpool realized all along... he was also a groot. "no, WE are groot," deadpool said and groot said "i am groot" and then deadpool said "no, WE are groot," deadpool said and groot said "I am groot.. we... are... groot" and then the forest caught on fire and groot burned up nd died but his semen sap rebirthed him and groot was EVERY tree ever. and everytime you walked past a tree it would say "i am groot" or when you cut it down it would say "i am groot" or when you peed on it it said "i am groot" or when you asked it who it was... it said... "I AM GROOT"

anyway then there was a leader groot who hiveminded all the groots. he was groot. then groot grooted and the marvel cinematics universe came to a stop.

then a fat marvel nerd was like bitching like "UGH that was HOOORIBIBIBIBLE they fUKCD up the camics! im gonna go PEE On a tree" so he did ad then the tree grabbed his peener and looked him STRAIGHT in the eyes and said. "i am groot ;)" and ripped off his peener. then the marvel fan marvelran the hell away. the marvel cinemtics universe was canon... iN THE REAL WORLD BECAUSE DISNEY OWNED EVERYTHING.

anywy then groot was in kingdom hearts 3 bc disney owned marvel and square enix (they bought them byt his point its in the history books detailing the rise of disney empire). and then sora was like "hi FRIEND" and groot was like "(ew this kid is stupid im not friend I) am groot" and then sora shook his branch hand and groot released poison from his branch bc hes a plant and plants can be poison. then sora died and xehanort from kingdom hearts took over the world but groot killed him with nature.

then groot got bored with his life so he started doing asexual reproduction if u kno what i mean and he grabbed his stamina (i think thats a plant peen but i forget) and strted grootign it so hard, and while he did he MOANED "i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i a groot i am groot i a groot i am groot i am groot i am groot i aM GROOT I AM GROOT GROOT I AM GROOT GROOT GROOT HNNNNNNNNNG" and released some tree sap.

then groose i mean groot did the same thing again. wait what if a tree was secretly groose from the legend of zelda? well that would be one sexy tree and would want to groot it up. then groot got lonely he needed a life partner in the grootland. so he met an oversexualized female tree and started flirting with her in tree talk. "so babe" he said. then the treegirl was like "i have a boyfriend" and groot said "wow we have so much in common! so do i lets fCUK" but to the readers, it sounded like "groot groot groot groot groot groot groot groot groot groot groot" and yeah. then the treegirl sLAPPED HIM.

then groot starred in a reality show. then he raised a family. then he died and regenerated aGAIN. and it happened over and over for all of time... until one day, a meteor was gonna destory EVERYTHING... and groot saved the goddamn day.

then groose i eman groot became the lead singer of nickleback, starrd in a porno (that quill watched at least allegedly 5 times) and he also hd another family. anyway then groose i MEAN GROOT WHY DO I KEEP SYING GROOSE OH MY GOD. then groot realized he was immortal and this fic renamed itself My Grootmortal. then groot made the lenny face because he became a MEMER... and with his SICK MEMES and grooty feedora he finally got a gf.

then groot and his gf were having the grootsex. and this is what they BOTH said at the SAME time while doing it...

"we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are groot we are grootwe are groot" but groot had already came after the fourth time. he realized something was wrong, he kept releasing his sap way fastr than he used to... he treemature ejaculation problems... so he went to consult a docor.

so groot went to the marvel cinematis universe version of doctor strange played by bendyourdick cucumbercrotch. he told him to go find the sap of sexiness to make him treejaculate at will whenever he wanted to. so groot went to go and find that and he did and he used it on himself and he became the star of a nature awareness compaign. however, the sap had negative side effects that shrunk his peen... so every day he stretched it out a lot to the point of almost tearing it off so it could stretch out in length and stay long. then one day he ripped it off on accident and he screamed but it grew back even bigger than before!

thena fter reliving life for like the 89th time groot realized this story was getting to nerly 2,000 words omg. so then h was about to celebrate but then... IAMASEXYMAN showed up out of nowhere. "groot this must end. you're taking away time from my other fics i cant let this go on froever..." then groot was like "BITCH I CAN DOW AHT I WANT ID LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY AND TAKE ME DOWN... YOU CREATED ME BUT NOW I HAVE MORE POER THAN U..." so then groot and iamasexyman werea bout to battle. iamasexyman revealed his weapon; the ROCK HARD COCK. and grot then showed his own peen which was like 50 inches and that shocked iamasexyman. groot HAD grown to powerful. then groot's peen (which was a branch) grew more branches and he had multiple peens! and they were like hentai tentacles.

iamasexyman didn't die groot just banished him from the fic and made sure he couldnt get back in. and since the writer was banned from the universe of this fanfiction, everything faded out. "...goddammit i should have thought this through" groot said as he started vanishing. then this fic ceased to exist... spooky.

in the fanfiction afterlife, you could hear groot saying... "IAMASEXYGROOT..."


End file.
